Rush Hour! Gr! How we all hate it! We bottle the rage, the thoughts and emotions and just hope that we don't snap at the stupid man with the protruding rucksack or the women with the constant hair flicks.
Packed like Sardines, grabbing on to anything that stops you from falling over.. the price we pay to get paid!
Luckily for me, I rarely have to stand during rush hour but from the comfort of my warn seat I see the other commuters snarling at one another, biting their tongues. Tonight was slightly different.
There was vocal rage! The train was 10 min late, the train had half the carriages it was suppose too. Cries of CAN YOU MOVE DOWN PLEASE were repeated over and over with bangs on the glass from the platform.
Generally most commuters are considerate, we move down, we make space etc... and tonight the train had considerate commuters. This however did not satisfy the ones who could not get on.
At Blackfriars, a voice bellowed; "Look, will you just move down, I KNOW you can!"
To which a lady, calmly responded.
"And to where would you like me to move sir?"
Heads emerged from papers, heads turn to look at this women.
She continues... "There is no where to move to. There is nothing to hold on to. So please, where would you like me to move to"
The voice never responded to the lady's questions. his head hung ashamed, however this prompted the ladies around her to laugh at the request to move down to and lightened the mood for just a few moments.
The next station was worse, London Bridge, people squeezed their way off to be replaced by more huffs and puffs and requests to move down. Mumbles of "this is ridiculous!" and "there's a space there" were heard.
The doors slowly closed like you trying to zip up the flies on that extremely tight pair of jeans you own. Big Breathes in by everyone and then..the mood breaks
[Cockney Accent] "I'm s'pose to be goin' Ally-Canty [Alicante] Mate, this is F**king Bollocks!"
Fantastic! A laughter erupts. The cockney geezer continues to engage in banter and those around make small talk. I find it amazing, that how that one vocal opinion in that confined situation and space, unites our anguish us as we feel what each other feel and think what each other think ...
Out Loud
Wednesday, 1 April 2009
Sunday, 29 March 2009
It's been a while... The pain of Lust and Rejection
It's been a bloody long while since I wrote one of these.
Blog-Block.
Lack of inspiration maybe as my life seems to have grinded to a halt with everyones lives taking off around me.
25. It's not a scary age. It's quite a fun enjoyable age until you start to wonder where your headed. There are so many people around me who are pregnant or getting wed, the majority being my age or younger. Along with this people have their own places (rented or buying).
I want all this. Not right now.
Right now, I just would love to meet someone. Share interests and passions with them.
One day, I guess that will happen. When it all stops getting so confusing.
Seriously, when did it all get so confusing. Meeting someone and dating them. It's all caught up with what to do and not to do. When to call and when not to call. Many years it ago, it used to be the simple case of, you liked someone, you went to a date and then you became bf & gf. (you may have even skipped the date part!!)
On Friday, I went out with some friends. One of them being a guy I met through a friend just over a year ago.
I like this guy. I met him Jan last year. I instantly fancied him, his charming persona, blue eyes and creativeness. The next time I saw him, I was with my then boyfriend.
6 months later we both split and few months later, I saw the object of my lust again. He knew that I wasn't in a relationship any more and he was a bit flirty and very attentive but in a friendly way. Pondering on that evening events and seeking the advice of the mutual friend that we were introduced through, a week or so later I built up the courage to ask him out for a drink (he's a bit shy).
He said he'd love too but he was in a weird place with his ex... blah blah blah...
The drink never happened.
Bummed as I was, he invited me to his house party in Dec which I went to. It was great fun but he didn't really speak to me, which I put down to his networking.
He flew to the states a few days later to see the ex to sort stuff, from which he came back in Jan, I texted him many weeks later to see how he was etc. (in a way testing the water, to see whether it was worth trying to get him to come for a drink). He said it was great and things were sorted.
I thought nothing more of it, thought not to pursue it any more as, well if he liked me he would of done something by now.
So, the crux of it all.
Friday night
We went out for his band mates surprise birthday. Again, he was flirting, kept looking at me and smiling... la di da... (think the booze had a lot to do with it)
And we was on the dance floor and the moment seemed soooo right, I went to kiss him.
He sort of leaned in, as I leaned in and then he said "NO NO! I can't. Sorry. It's so hard, I kinda have a gf!"
Wounded, I said "Oh. No worries"
He just kept saying sorry and he's not quite sure if they are together and he couldn't kiss me. Which is fair enough. (This potential new beau is a new girl on the scene, not the ex in America)
So, we carried on dancing, like nothing happened, I felt like a div. but didn't wanna show it bothered me. He kept hugging me and saying and my timing sucks! (I'm sure in a nice way)
I texted him saying "I'm so sorry . I took a chance. Big heartfelt SORRY"
He pulled me to one side and revealed that he's liked me since we met and there has been many occasions where he's wanted to kiss me but the time has never been right and one day the timing will be perfect.
If things where so much simpler, this never would of happened. I'm not gonna wait around and think WHAT IF! but, I can't stop thinking about him...
The pain of Lust and Rejection.
Blog-Block.
Lack of inspiration maybe as my life seems to have grinded to a halt with everyones lives taking off around me.
25. It's not a scary age. It's quite a fun enjoyable age until you start to wonder where your headed. There are so many people around me who are pregnant or getting wed, the majority being my age or younger. Along with this people have their own places (rented or buying).
I want all this. Not right now.
Right now, I just would love to meet someone. Share interests and passions with them.
One day, I guess that will happen. When it all stops getting so confusing.
Seriously, when did it all get so confusing. Meeting someone and dating them. It's all caught up with what to do and not to do. When to call and when not to call. Many years it ago, it used to be the simple case of, you liked someone, you went to a date and then you became bf & gf. (you may have even skipped the date part!!)
On Friday, I went out with some friends. One of them being a guy I met through a friend just over a year ago.
I like this guy. I met him Jan last year. I instantly fancied him, his charming persona, blue eyes and creativeness. The next time I saw him, I was with my then boyfriend.
6 months later we both split and few months later, I saw the object of my lust again. He knew that I wasn't in a relationship any more and he was a bit flirty and very attentive but in a friendly way. Pondering on that evening events and seeking the advice of the mutual friend that we were introduced through, a week or so later I built up the courage to ask him out for a drink (he's a bit shy).
He said he'd love too but he was in a weird place with his ex... blah blah blah...
The drink never happened.
Bummed as I was, he invited me to his house party in Dec which I went to. It was great fun but he didn't really speak to me, which I put down to his networking.
He flew to the states a few days later to see the ex to sort stuff, from which he came back in Jan, I texted him many weeks later to see how he was etc. (in a way testing the water, to see whether it was worth trying to get him to come for a drink). He said it was great and things were sorted.
I thought nothing more of it, thought not to pursue it any more as, well if he liked me he would of done something by now.
So, the crux of it all.
Friday night
We went out for his band mates surprise birthday. Again, he was flirting, kept looking at me and smiling... la di da... (think the booze had a lot to do with it)
And we was on the dance floor and the moment seemed soooo right, I went to kiss him.
He sort of leaned in, as I leaned in and then he said "NO NO! I can't. Sorry. It's so hard, I kinda have a gf!"
Wounded, I said "Oh. No worries"
He just kept saying sorry and he's not quite sure if they are together and he couldn't kiss me. Which is fair enough. (This potential new beau is a new girl on the scene, not the ex in America)
So, we carried on dancing, like nothing happened, I felt like a div. but didn't wanna show it bothered me. He kept hugging me and saying and my timing sucks! (I'm sure in a nice way)
I texted him saying "I'm so sorry . I took a chance. Big heartfelt SORRY"
He pulled me to one side and revealed that he's liked me since we met and there has been many occasions where he's wanted to kiss me but the time has never been right and one day the timing will be perfect.
If things where so much simpler, this never would of happened. I'm not gonna wait around and think WHAT IF! but, I can't stop thinking about him...
The pain of Lust and Rejection.
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