Optimism.Lacks.

I don’t know what is wrong with me.
My relationship is going from strength to strength and I am falling for my man slowly but almost certainly.
He loves me unconditionally

But I find myself glum.
I find myself searching for other ways to be happy

I think the biggest culprit is work.
It tires me.
Not in the way it should.
I work my arse off
But for no reward or praise or thanks

My manager has no management skills
My manager has no understanding of the demands laid upon us by our clients.
And throws her demands on top
Then moans we aren’t doing out jobs properly.

I want to move on
Develop myself. Grow.
But recently, I went for a new job role which I had never done before.
To be rejected after 3 interviews
For having too much experience

Nothing makes sense at the mo
I’m scared about the future
I have fears regarding financial stability
Optimism to date is the lowest its been for sometime

I have no idea where to go
I have no idea what to do
Or where to run to
Or where to hide

Under the duvet seems the best place

Tummy Fuzz

If you're a girl reading this then you'll probably completely be able to associate yourself with the way I feel at the moment and will understand what I mean by Tummy Fuzz.

The best way to describe Tummy Fuzz is when a you get that feeling in your belly when a guy you know, who you have a crush* on or like/love says things that make your stomach flip and you get that fuzzy feeling.
It's warm and cute and that one lil sentence or phrase makes you feel all sexy and girly.

This happened to me tonight. A guy who I've know for about a year started flirting with me over messenger and he's given me really cute compliments all night. Things that not even boyfriends have said to me before ... and that gave me Tummy Fuzz. Silly things like, "I forgot how big your eyes are"... *fuzz*
It made me feel sexy and girly and wanted and that's rare.

I don't know where our flirting is gonna go but I am hoping it is more than just chat and that something might happen as he makes me feel the happiest I've been in months... :)

xxx

*Sorry for the Teenage vocab!