Turning the Frown, Upside Down

Last time I blogged, I was low and lonely.
I'm not quite sure what happened after I wrote that because I seemed to pick myself up and had the courage to go on a date once again.
I was very nervous. Not quite sure what I'd let myself in for as he seemed quite a Jack-the-Lad. Maybe another bad apple to screw up my head!?


He was running late. Quite late in fact. Stuck in the rush hour traffic. I had to find time to kill, which I did quite easily. Its amazing how time flies when you shop! ;)
We met at a pub and it was a little awkward at first... probably as expected
but The date was amazing.
I've never felt so at ease within minutes.
I had an instant attraction to this big beaming smile and friendly exterior.
A few drinks in a pub. Watched a couple of low key bands in a intimate venue. Then moved on to a bar with a jam session.
Drinks flowed, laughter, stories which equated to no awkward silences and not wanting to say Goodbye.

Six weeks on, I am in a great relationship with someone who seems to be besotted with me and I am besotted with him.
For me it's still very much the honeymoon period, wanting to spend every moment with him and always be in contact but for him, he says it's beyond that and he couldn't be happier.

He always makes me smile and is so caring and has many other wonderful qualities about him which makes me feel I'm on to a winner.

Here's hoping 2010 brings me new experiences, excitement, joy and love.

*Merry Christmas one and all and here's to a wonderful 2010*

Back..with avengence?

Well it's been over a YEAR, nearly two since I set up this and I've not been able to get into because I forgot my password, user name etc but today! WHOOP! I found it.

So in the last year, nearly 2, I did meet guys with my new found confidence, but there was one guy who won me over and we were together for just shy of 6 months and as much as it still pains me now to know that we are not together any more and he is already making some other girl happy, he was amazing and I miss him dearly.


Music is helping me heal and I seem to be finding songs to suit how I feel. Trying to find a song to define the way I feel is tough.

Do Me A Favour by the Arctic Monkeys has a heart wrenching verse that I found myself associating with for sometime. It's exactly how I felt when it was over...
She walked away, well her shoes were untied, And the eyes were all red, You could see that we've cried, and I watched and I waited, 'Till she was inside, forcing a smile and waving goodbye.

Now I've discovered these lyrics, with the cold setting in and me kind of getting used to being single again, this song seems to feel at home with me. The track itself is heavier than you expect when you read the lyrics, some of them seem to fit how I feel

Crush by Jimmy Eat World
Faintest snow keep falling.
Hands around your waist.
Nameless, standing cold.
Take in restraint like a breath.
My lungs are so numb from holding back.
Walk close to the fence.
Feel it hit your clothes.
Turn and smile nice.
Smile say goodnight.
Say goodnight in a breath.
Simple discourse breaks you clean in half.
Regret.
Do try it once and then you know.
Your move.
Settle for nothing less again.

I'm still not myself and finding my feelings in songs seems to be the only way to get back on track...

The most recent emotion I am experiencing is Fear. One of my greatest fears is loneliness and right at this very moment I am so scared to be single.

I had my emotions pulled apart SO MUCH the last time I was single by guys who weren't really sure what they wanted and seem to use me to figure it out. I don't want this to happen again but i don't know if I'm strong enough to prevent it! Especially when I am shamefully craving attention.

I guess I should maybe learn from what happened last time and play the men at their own game.

Any advice Bloggers?