Optimism.Lacks.

I don’t know what is wrong with me.
My relationship is going from strength to strength and I am falling for my man slowly but almost certainly.
He loves me unconditionally

But I find myself glum.
I find myself searching for other ways to be happy

I think the biggest culprit is work.
It tires me.
Not in the way it should.
I work my arse off
But for no reward or praise or thanks

My manager has no management skills
My manager has no understanding of the demands laid upon us by our clients.
And throws her demands on top
Then moans we aren’t doing out jobs properly.

I want to move on
Develop myself. Grow.
But recently, I went for a new job role which I had never done before.
To be rejected after 3 interviews
For having too much experience

Nothing makes sense at the mo
I’m scared about the future
I have fears regarding financial stability
Optimism to date is the lowest its been for sometime

I have no idea where to go
I have no idea what to do
Or where to run to
Or where to hide

Under the duvet seems the best place

Turning the Frown, Upside Down

Last time I blogged, I was low and lonely.
I'm not quite sure what happened after I wrote that because I seemed to pick myself up and had the courage to go on a date once again.
I was very nervous. Not quite sure what I'd let myself in for as he seemed quite a Jack-the-Lad. Maybe another bad apple to screw up my head!?


He was running late. Quite late in fact. Stuck in the rush hour traffic. I had to find time to kill, which I did quite easily. Its amazing how time flies when you shop! ;)
We met at a pub and it was a little awkward at first... probably as expected
but The date was amazing.
I've never felt so at ease within minutes.
I had an instant attraction to this big beaming smile and friendly exterior.
A few drinks in a pub. Watched a couple of low key bands in a intimate venue. Then moved on to a bar with a jam session.
Drinks flowed, laughter, stories which equated to no awkward silences and not wanting to say Goodbye.

Six weeks on, I am in a great relationship with someone who seems to be besotted with me and I am besotted with him.
For me it's still very much the honeymoon period, wanting to spend every moment with him and always be in contact but for him, he says it's beyond that and he couldn't be happier.

He always makes me smile and is so caring and has many other wonderful qualities about him which makes me feel I'm on to a winner.

Here's hoping 2010 brings me new experiences, excitement, joy and love.

*Merry Christmas one and all and here's to a wonderful 2010*