My first blog on Blogger and I thought I share something with you all.
Who ever thought a year could change one person so much. Someone like me. I thought I'd finished evolving into the girl/women that everyone know, likes or love but last year, I changed again, maybe it's all to do with being a women but at 23 I thought I had already done that.I don't normally write things down like this but whilst on a boring, slow commute to work on a cold saturday, I started reading my texts on my mobile from April. I haven't deleted them because some are emotional, some sentimental and some make me feel great and add a smile to this face and give me that much needed confidence boost which is always needed and appreciated however hard it is to accept. The texts made me realise A LOT has happened in six months and this year.
Last year,pretty much like every year and everyone else year as had it's highs and lows. January started on a high, a new job, my boyfriend and I has just made a year together and I was very much in love and very happy. A few months later I started my crazy gigging year and my love for my special fella grew stronger, just like my love for Ricky Wilson!!! (hehe)
Then the lows kicked in. As much as I was smiling on the outside, loving going to gigs, deep inside was a strain. My boyfriends' promotion to manager was fantastic. He's worked his arse off to make something of himself and to achieve a promotion was the ideal reward. But the lack of support started to put a strain on our relationship. We started to see less of each other but we were determined to keep going. He even said "Our love would beat it". I had a lot of patience and I guess a lot of love. It wasn't easy seeing him once a week for two hours and sometimes those two hours was him spent sleeping.
Around July, after my boyfriends birthday, things started to change. Seeing him became more infrequent and he was getting lost in my hurried lifestyle. At the end of July, I went out after work for drinks and ended up in Walkabout with my good female friend. We both clocked this GORGEOUS guy and that was the night I knew things weren't right in my heart. WE got chatting to this guy and the whole time I felt I wanted to kiss him. I probably could of, if I was very drunk. But I couldn't, because, I'm not that kinda girl. I ended up swapping numbers as he we shared a passion for gigs and he was only in London for a year and wanted people to go to them with. He was the first guy in the 17 months (the length I had been with my man) that I have felt that way towards.
The few weeks that followed, the relationship digressed further. I made conscious efforts to try and revive it. I surprised him at work, which he loved! but it unfortunately ended in an argument and 4 days later, so had we.
Now maybe I'm just odd, but break-ups shoot people down and make getting on with your life very difficult. But for some bizarre reason 3 days after my break up I was fighting back. 5 months on, I've been having fun. My confidence has hit a new high. It's the most confident I have ever felt!! If you know me personally, then you'll know this is an incredible achievement as there was a point where I could of not been here to write this.
The last five months have made me a more confident and stronger woman which, in my eyes, are qualities that make a beautiful woman.
I think I'm evolving into one of those. It is so refreshing to have people finally see you for who you have been all along.
2007, I'm looking to blossom even more and have fun doing it!
2007, better what out!!!
Thanks for reading ! x
