[penned on Saturday 8th August]
This isn't going to be part of a mini-series about loosing something, just coincidental Blog Titles.
I'm Loosing the faith in finding someone and which ever way I approach the dating game I seem to do something wrong...
I ask for advice on certain dating situations and end up being criticized. Now don't get me wrong, I need and appreciate the advice as I take it on board as I trust those who have given me advice as I know they care and love me and want me to be happy.
One bit of advice I've received is "Don't give your heart away to soon. Keep those emotional feelings under wrap. Don't reveal yourself too soon!" Sounds like an ancient proverb but it's just my mate Nick!
SO I take this into consideration in my life as a confident (hmm), young (kinda) single person which I've currently been for nearly a year.
I met someone about April time. He's a great guy! Caring, funny, fun, just amazing and we've have the best dates! He was also very open and willing but I've held my cards close to my chest, not giving too much away.
However, now I feel I may have lost him. Feelings grew and I tried to open up more by subtlety letting him know how I feel. I think I may have dropped the ball.
He's vacant and not as proactive as he used to be. I know he's been busy and work has been tough for him which I have taken into consideration whilst venting this frustration. We met a few days ago, few ciders, nice meal, a visit to his new flat. All fantastic, however since that.. 1 text. Just 1. Normally he sends 2 or 3 a day.
He revealed during this lovely evening of ours that his ex has been in touch. *ALARM BELLS!* She's been texting him, saying things he's wanted to hear months ago to which he even said to me "It's not fair as I've been trying to get on with my life".
So I'm left in the dark wondering do I continue with this and adding to the fact I have proper feelings for him and I know i'm going to blub if he doesn't want to
A sensitive soul I am, but this why the likes of Nick are trying to protect me.
So 5 days on after this evening of ours I have had 1 text from him saying he had a great time and we will see each other soon. Another text in my drafts with the dreaded question that could end something great. And a text from the best mate telling me to drop it and not to get involved as the ex is on the scene.
What do I do?
Being messed about or led on seems to be my thing. Like football is to Beckham (bad analogy I know). I meet someone. It's great and then, Bye Bye but for an unknown reason. Guys who i've had things with or close guy mates are always like 'your a catch' 'if I wasn't married...' 'it surprises me you have no one'
YEAH! Cheers for that! and that's why I am loosing the faith in becoming eternally happy in a relationship or meeting Mr. Right and becoming Mrs. Right and that statement seems even more poignant in a time when my friends are getting married or have/having children.
I guess instead of looking for Mr. Right now, I should be looking for restoration.
