So in the last year, nearly 2, I did meet guys with my new found confidence, but there was one guy who won me over and we were together for just shy of 6 months and as much as it still pains me now to know that we are not together any more and he is already making some other girl happy, he was amazing and I miss him dearly.
Music is helping me heal and I seem to be finding songs to suit how I feel. Trying to find a song to define the way I feel is tough.
Do Me A Favour by the Arctic Monkeys has a heart wrenching verse that I found myself associating with for sometime. It's exactly how I felt when it was over...
She walked away, well her shoes were untied, And the eyes were all red, You could see that we've cried, and I watched and I waited, 'Till she was inside, forcing a smile and waving goodbye.
Now I've discovered these lyrics, with the cold setting in and me kind of getting used to being single again, this song seems to feel at home with me. The track itself is heavier than you expect when you read the lyrics, some of them seem to fit how I feel
Crush by Jimmy Eat World
Hands around your waist.
Nameless, standing cold.
Take in restraint like a breath.
My lungs are so numb from holding back.
Walk close to the fence.
Feel it hit your clothes.
Turn and smile nice.
Smile say goodnight.
Say goodnight in a breath.
Simple discourse breaks you clean in half.
Regret.
Do try it once and then you know.
Your move.
Settle for nothing less again.
The most recent emotion I am experiencing is Fear. One of my greatest fears is loneliness and right at this very moment I am so scared to be single.
I had my emotions pulled apart SO MUCH the last time I was single by guys who weren't really sure what they wanted and seem to use me to figure it out. I don't want this to happen again but i don't know if I'm strong enough to prevent it! Especially when I am shamefully craving attention.
I guess I should maybe learn from what happened last time and play the men at their own game.
Any advice Bloggers?
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