Thoughts Scribbled on Paper

I found some thoughts scribbled on a piece of paper, I remember when I wrote them. I was taking photos from dusk to nightfall in London at the beginning of the year and emotions started to run through me and I wanted to jot them down... so I did. It's brief but to the point.


"I'm so stupidly emotional right now in a vibrant buzzing city on my own. It's big and I'm so small. It's beautiful and I feel like I'm in my own world. Alone. I stroll through the empty train station, to board the empty train home. No one else in my carriage but me and the discarded free sheets. I rest my head against the wall but how I wish it was someone's shoulder. Someone to call my own."

A letter to you...

Dear you,

It's been a while sorry. I've not had much to say as not much has happened over the last few months. Just the usual man trouble with them tugging at my heart strings and creating a leash to lead me on with. It's sad to report that nothing has changed there and I wish I could bring you happier news.

I have however taken a big leap and moved away from home. It's the first time I have lived away from my parents. Oh yeah, I'm a big girl now! I can't say I miss it as I actually like moving at my own pace.

I live with 5 others. Someone I know, a kiwi couple and 2 irish girls. All professional people with lovely personalities bar one who grates and has habits which are unexplainable.
I have only lived here two/three weeks and I am already baffled by what she thinks and does, well basically functions!

- She moans how the house is a bit dirty, yet she makes the most mess!
- She buys loads of weight-watchers food, yet eats massive slices of cake with her hands!
- She said she slipped in the shower and as a consequence wears flipflops in there now.. surely that aids the hazard!
and they are just a few examples that come part and parcel of a house share and make it fun and exciting.
We all have a good laugh. We've been playing the LoveKnob game. Kirsty, my housemate I know, has been playing a game at work where we sing a song with the word Love in it, but replace it with Knob.
So for example, "can you feel the knob tonight!" "knob, knob me do!" Genius Eh!
This game keeps us amused at dinner times and when we wash up. It is odd to find yourself singing the word knob to 5 people you rarely know but a good bonding exercise all the same :)

So a big change there. Miss Independent I will be :)

Other than that, work is begin to absorb my every emotion and turning me into a lifeless soul. I'm sure I've explained before but to recap, I work for a hotel and sell the conference and meeting rooms for various types of events. One naturally busy period is Christmas and this has been assigned to me to look after. So I need to throw myself full force into contact a 400-strong database and get people in the door.
However it's October and I have done nothing, due to lack of support from all angles. I am under ridiculous about of pressure and could easily work 12 hour shifts equipped with a can of red bull and a jumbo chocolate bar.
I'm working all kinds of extra hours at no pay and with 10 weeks til xmas and targets to meet, beat and exceed, I think I have flopped already.
I can't find the time or motivation to focus and it makes me very sad and blue. Not the best mood to be in to excel.

I hope all is well with you and I am sorry this as been a mix of the happy yet sad, but if you have any words of encouragement to get me through, why not write back?

I hope to hear from you soon.

Love

Me x