Tuesday 21 July 2009

Loosing the Friend Focus

Recently I've realised that I am possibly neglecting some people very close to me.
I can't quite put my finger on why.
Things do get hectic. The 9-5 absorbs your energy and spark. You get wrapped and and loose focus. You receive texts that take hours or maybe days to reply to as you just naturally forget because of the hustle and bustle around you.

This came to light when a friend kind of mislead me about her birthday plans. She told me the date that she would do something and kept it clear in the diary. The Thursday before I hadn't heard anything, so I texted her. I got a reply saying that she was going for a quiet meal.
This in fact is a lie.
She went out for her birthday.
She got very drunk on her birthday.
How do I know?
My best mate went.

Now it could be a simple explanation like, she doesn't think I'm 'cool' enough to hang out with her other circle of friends. Maybe she doesn't class me as a good or best friend any more.
I hope it's the first and not the latter.
If it is the latter, then some big changes need to start happening.

I feel I'm quite fortunate that I make friends. I like to socialise and meet new people and as great as this sounds, it's a flaw.
Sometimes you have to many invites and you have to let people down. But sometimes you sit alone looking at what all your other friends are doing through a computer screen.

Recently, I've seen status updates and uploaded photos of events and days out that my friends and our mutual friends hitting the beach, going in to town and I always think.. Oh!Where was my invite.
But maybe that's it.
Maybe I'm not worthy of an invite as I've been a bad friend.

I NEED to change this. I need to fix or repair the missing connections.

I'm not even sure where to begin to regain focus

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